Side Dish - Cadillac Ranch & The Big Texan - Amarillo's Roadside America 11/27/10

Arizona Bound!!! Ummmm.......

Okay, so plans got a little changed over the Thanksgiving holiday. As we were driving down to our first night's hotel, the prospect of being on the road at 6:00am and driving 720 miles freaked Matt out to the point of terror, so as we so often do, we switched venues while on the road.

A trip to Texas and the Panhandle of Oklahoma may not sound like Nirvana, but it definitely has its highlights. Roadside America holds a huge part of our hearts.....with the prospect of a 700 pound groundhog or a statue of Felix the Cat in Podunk, USA....a side trip must be made. Amarillo, Texas holds the distinction of having two grand-daddies of Cheeseville Roadside stops - The Big Texan Restaurant and Cadillac Ranch. Both were visited with bells on......

Cadillac Ranch, in a field off I-40 (and I mean right off....literally, you drive past it while driving west of Amarillo) draws tens of thousands of fans each year with one goal in mind - to deface as much property as is legally possible. The draw of these 10 Cadillac shells is the prospect of bringing your own spray paint can and spraying literally anything on the bases of the cars. Sound fun??? Well - I suppose to a 15 year old, it is heaven on Earth. To us - it was a spectacle to be experienced.

Off the frontage road, there will inevitably be a dozen cars (a few with Grandma still inside - the prospect of walking onto a field rife with cow patties did NOT amuse the two old women I saw passing up the opportunity.)

We strode past the gate, and spent the next 100 yds dodging cow poop the size of dinner platters. (Brooke made the same mistake of wearing the ankle-breaking Chinese silk flats and was cringing the entire walk - Have you heard of the Internet Blogger 'The Pioneer Woman??? You know the one - she who left the city for a life on an Oklahoma ranch?? - Well - She is a DAMN fool.....This one field had me kissing the ground of the first Starbucks I walked past afterward)

The first site witnessed was not the number of people weaving their way around the Caddy shells, but the site of literally dozens of empty spray paint cans festering the entire site. Apparently trash cans are forbidden here and the graffiti "artists" spray until they are out, then chuck the can as far as can be thrown.....right into the cow pasture. Sorry, Bessie......

As we approached the site, I heard the following conversation "NO MAN!! PUT "SAN DIEGO" ON IT! WE GOTTA REPRESENT!!".......Uh Huh.......Represent your bad-boy self. Why didn't we get some paint cans ourselves?? "THORNTON, CO" would have looked SO bad-ass on there, dontcha think??

Oddly enough, the colorful cars represent a strange beauty tucked away in the field....I am at a loss to explain it, but some people really take their time marking the cars up, only to have their work no doubt covered up the next day by someone wanting to "represent".

And when all was said and done, and the spray paint fumes overcoming us at every turn we realized that even cow turds aren't safe here from the spray cans.....

After that appetizing sight......it was time to EAT!!!

If you are a fan of Route 66 sites, as we are.......one restaurant stands head and shoulders above the rest. "The Big Texan" is an Amarillo institution, and a must-see destination for "Mother Road" enthusiasts. We had seen videos and saw a brochure in our hotel advertising "FREE Limo Rides to the restaurant", and started salivating.....Limo Rides???? WOW!!! This place is the creme de la creme if they have limos coming to pick you up......We, however decided to make the short trek ourselves.

The Parking Lot promised an evening of cheesy goodness.....the motel beckoned us with the promise of 4-star luxury....<ahem>

and the limos????? Try 1976 welded Buicks with Longhorns glued to the front....But STILL!!!

Inside was a paradise of huge chairs to take your picture in (HARDY-HAR-HAR!!), a fudge stand, gift shop (of which we picked up an armadillo to continue our America Kitsch shelf we currently have going in our living room -) 

Then - <insert angels music here> SLOT MACHINES!!!! Wow - Lets put a $5 in before dinner! $2 in......and then I read the sign - "All play is strictly for amusement only". WTF???? Yeah - I'm amused.....and $5 lighter in the wallet.

Matt gave the 72oz challenge a thought, but the prospect of paying $79.95 when the meal was left unfinished was too much to bear. We both ordered filet mignon......Matt was served filet, and Brooke was served a piece of shoe leather. $19.95 for a re-enactment of Charlie Chaplin's "The Gold Rush" dinner....Yum.

But - it is the experience that counts (So do the calories of the Snickers bar I had to eat after the meal to fill my stomach after the shoe and the glued together potato salad). We bid adieu, but only after Brooke spent more money on a non working shooting gallery gun.

Matt, however fared better.......

Amarillo - thank you for embracing the Cheddar goodness of Roadside America.....We do love you for it.