Up Against the Wall: Coronado National Memorial 3/5/11

"DO NOT COME HERE!"

"It isn't worth the taxing drive on the dirt road for a whole lot of nothin'."

"Your car most likely will be broken into if it is in the Visitor Center parking lot."

"Don't even try to drive up Montezuma Pass....The Border Patrol are harsh and will follow your every move."


These are just a few warnings posted amongst the various blogs on the Web regarding Coronado National Memorial in Arizona. When looking at the Rand McNally atlas, Coronado appears to be straddling the border between the United States and Mexico with not a town or soul in sight to save you from the drug cartel that you KNOW is waiting for you if you attempt to venture here.

Rubbish.

Most of it, that is. Coronado National Memorial, approximately 25 miles south of Sierra Vista, Arizona, isn't nearly the arduous task that other bloggers led us to believe. Sierra Vista, an isolated military outpost of over 50,000, never really ends as you make your way to the memorial. Neighborhoods, sprawling ranches, and even a group of teenagers on a ROTC exercise, welcomed us on the easy drive to the site. The expected pothole-ridden dirt road nightmare turned out to be a new two-lane asphalt road that took us all of 15 minutes from "downtown" Sierra Vista.

The dark brown line in the middle of the above shot is all that separates Coronado National Memorial from Mexico. This is the fabled fence that will protect the souls of the United States (read: scared white people) from incoming illegal aliens. This fence, in our minds, is as sturdy as an iron gate behind a mine field preceded by electric chicken wire.

Only one problem with our viewpoint. The fence is made of a couple wires and a sequence of 2x8 plywoods traversing the length of this harsh landscape. A problem with the assumptions of the American people is that the majority have never ventured 200 miles from a border town. Stealing your Grandmother's Cabbage Patch Kids collection is most likely a more difficult task than scaling the border wall. Coronado lies a mere 3/4 mile from the border, and homes dot the landscape on the U.S. side, while Mexico's side near Coronado holds nary a tree, house or available shade outpost for a traveling Tejano. The border patrol does indeed scour the area on a constant basis, but given the bleak view on the Mexico side, if people want to breach the border, they will.

At the end of the short road, a small visitor center offers everything that this site could possibly entertain. Being a National Memorial, and the exact location of Coronado's crossing into (today's) United States remaining unknown, the site itself is a homage to Coronado and the invasion entrance of the European explorers and the ensuing culture clashes and bloodbaths it ultimately resulted in.

What the visitor center does exactly right is immediately immerse the tourist in Spanish times and decor. A jarring sight, when one is used to sterile centers with white walls and 70's exhibits, you enter into a space no larger than 500-600 square feet that resembles a Spanish villa.

The NPS Ranger acted as though she would have rather eaten nails than welcome us to the site. We imagined her days were spent with Border Patrol visits and the occasional lost traveler, but a smile goes a long way, Toots. The 15-minute video was a surprise. An introduction to Coronado and his ensuing demise and path to failure was a triumph for a site this small.

For you see......Coronado was scammed worse than Amway, folks.

In 1536, a group of shipwrecked Spanish explorers returned to the motherland with grandiose tales of cities, "lined with goldsmith shops, houses of many stories and doorways studded with emeralds and turquoise". The Viceroy of New Spain, intrigued by the first reports, sent Fray Marcos de Niza to scout the area further to confirm the prior explorers' tales.

Fray Marcos de Niza (apparently high on peyote) embellished the previous stories and promised Spain the wonders of Cibola, or the "Seven Cities of Gold" throughout the areas of Northern Mexico, and continuing through Arizona and New Mexico. The Viceroy, thrilled by the news of gold-covered towns, sent the official expedition led by Francisco Vasquez de Coronado to capture the land for Spain while converting any and all non-Christians along the way. 

Armed with 350 Conquistadors, several priests and Benedict Arnold Fray Marcos, Coronado set forth from Mexico's west coast in search of Cibola. Traversing through the Sonoran region of Northern Mexico, Coronado and his men traveled near the site of the now NPS memorial while continuing their search.

Liar McFibberson Fray Marcos urged the armada on, promising the gold cities of Cibola around the next bend. The Spaniards met many Native Americans along the way, stood agape at the simple adobe houses and people who knew only the gold of the maize they grew in the fields, but pressed on. Jon Lovitz Fray Marcos was finally figured out and shipped back to Mexico City.

However - the Native Americans stepped in and fueled the fire. Coronado was then informed that Cibola did indeed exist but was found in the region of present-day Kansas. Coronado led his men through the prairie, not assuming that the Natives led them to the land in hopes of driving them to starvation. Cibola, alas, was never discovered (unless one counts Las Vegas), and Coronado lived out his short, remaining life in failure and ridicule (much like the person in the picture below.) A newfound respect for Conquistadors was discovered after draping myself in Chain Mail. Weighing no less than 40-50 pounds, I had difficulty breathing and moving without distress.

After leaving the visitor center, we decided to travel the "Nature Walk" directly outside the center. We wanted to step into Coronado's shoes and push through the natural environment of the borderlands.

What you see above you is the entirety of the Nature Walk at Coronado NM. 100 feet of prickly pear and yucca "wonder" is all the casual tourist is afforded. We look around confused thinking, "Did we miss something?"

There are two other attactions available for the visitor here. Coronado Cave, a small limestone depository can be reached after hiking 3/4 of a mile straight up (we'll wait for you in the car) and a drive up the aforementioned Montezuma Pass. The unpaved road takes the traveler over the mountains and 55 miles to the town of Nogales, AZ. We began the trek, and 200 feet up the road were immediately tracked by a Border Patrol car. Being whiter than the dude in "Powder", he didn't give us much of a second look, but we heeded the warning and turned back.

Coronado National Memorial is undeserving of the poor press others have given it in the past. There are not activities or hikes available to visitors, but the reality of the location is always at hand. It is inevitable that one thinks of Juarez rather than Coronado at this memorial while visiting, but it is worth the time and very little effort it takes to get here.

Can we interest you in a Cibola Pyramid Scheme by any chance????

FINAL RATING

5/10