A Windy Walk: Natural Bridges Nat'l Monument 5/28/10

Where on earth did we get the idea that Natural Bridges National Monument (40 miles west of Blanding, Utah) was a virtual who's who of stone arches, at once so plentiful and ubiquitous that it was all one could do to bob and weave around their ancient glory? At least to this imagination, I expected a Saguaro-like landscape of eye-catching wonder, where monumental bridges overlapped their smaller cousins, all in the name of unparalleled beauty. Chalk up another disappointment to the expectation game, and color me stupid. Three bridges, you say? But what if I said that.......And what if I argued that......No matter, as these are impressive examples of erosion's eternal power nonetheless, and I shouldn't punish the natural world for my pitiful ignorance. Still only three? Fine.

The Bridge View Drive, as good as it is for acquiring the necessary views, somehow doesn't seem quite enough, and please don't argue that one must hike to better appreciate the park. That would come soon enough and nearly force Brooke to plan my unexpected funeral, but for the first two in the series, the wind prevented anything even approaching a day's casual stroll. No, really, this was wind. It howled, screeched, and damn near pushed us over the edge, and there are no barriers between a man and oblivion. The automobile was going to be it on this hurricane-like day, though I don't blame you for thinking that even with absolute calm, neither of us was going anywhere near the trail. Yes, there is a theme to this blog, and it does not involve anything that will get our hair mussed.

The first stop is the Sipapu Bridge (above), the tallest of the group at 220 feet, it also spans 268 feet with a width of 31 feet, and thickness of 53 feet. The name is Hopi for "the place of emergence." It's relatively easy to spot from the overlook; a perch that reminded us at every instant of how our visit to its base would have necessitated our helicopter rescue. Here, it is important to remember that bridges are the result of moving water, unlike arches, which come to be through frost action and seeping moisture. There's also Horse Collar Ruin at this overlook, but I'll be damned if I didn't spend an eternity fighting an F5 tornado to no avail. I think I made them out at long last, but I wanted to get back before my clothes tore off.

Next up is Kachina, which is 210 feet tall, spanning 204 feet, with a width of 44 feet and thickness of 93 feet. It is this thickness that makes it very difficult to view from a distance, as it appears to have not much of a pathway. Kachina was named for the rock art symbols found on the bridge; items that have to be taken on faith as we....well, you know the story.

Finally, we came to Owachomo Bridge (Hopi for "rock mound" - proving that the Natives weren't always so poetic), which was "only" 106 feet tall, spanning 180 feet, with a width of 27 feet and a shockingly miniscule thickness of only 9 feet. Because it is so thin, the view is the most dramatic, so I had to walk down and bask in its glory. Down I went, with ease I might add, giving me a true sense of its range and power. It was an awesome spectacle to behold, producing the sorts of images impossible from above.

As I had the place to myself (Brooke filmed my wheezing carcass from the safety of the overlook), I leaned back and took it all in. Now this is what I came here for. This is the fulfillment of the legend. But before I could get too comfortable in my love for water's raging power, I remembered that I had some stairs to climb. A whole lotta stairs. I walked slowly, measuring each step with great care, mainly out of respect for my heart, which no doubt wondered what in the hell was going on. As knees buckled and sweat poured, some jerkoff appeared out of nowhere, running - yes, running - up the stairs as if to mock my very presence. He was lean, mean, and defiantly young, and I hated him on sight. But I had kissed the shadow of Owachomo, and his view, for all of his muscle and conditioning, had been no better than mine.

FINAL RATING

6/10